In the 2010 General Relief Society Meeting President Monson said:
My dear sisters, each of you is unique. You are different from each other in many ways. There are those of you who are married. Some of you stay at home with your children, while others of you work outside your homes. Some of you are empty nesters. There are those of you who are married but do not have children. There are those who are divorced, those who are widowed. Many of you are single women. Some of you have college degrees; some of you do not. There are those who can afford the latest fashions and those who are lucky to have one appropriate Sunday outfit. Such differences are almost endless. Do these differences tempt us to judge one another?Beautifully said.
We need to stop judging each other on this topic. I don't want to be judged because I stay at home with my kids and work through the sometimes brilliance and sometimes mundane of being a full time mom. I do it because it's what I want to and I am able to. I have many friends that work and who, in my opinion, are radiant, amazing mothers who I am trying to emulate. They are doing such a great job. My hat is off to them for all they accomplish.
Let me quote Elder Cook here, who I think spoke magnificently on this topic, he said:
We recognize that there are enormous forces arrayed against women and families. Recent studies find there is deterioration in devotion to marriage, with a decrease in the number of adults being married. For some, marriage and family are becoming “a menu choice rather than the central organizing principle of our society.” Women are confronted with many options and need to prayerfully consider the choices they make and how those choices affect the family.
What do I hear in the voice of prophets and apostles? Their teachings are clear and very balanced on this topic. We should consider and study their words to gain more clarity and love.These are very emotional, personal decisions, but there are two principles that we should always keep in mind. First, no woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan. Second, we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home. We rarely understand or fully appreciate people’s circumstances. Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions.
I love this quote by James E Faust:
[I]t would seem that you cannot do all of these things well at the same time. You cannot eat all of the pastries in the baking shop at once. You will get a tummyache. You cannot be a 100 percent wife, a 100 percent mother, a 100 percent church worker, a 100 percent career person, and a 100 percent public service person at the same time. How can all of these roles be coordinated? Says Sarah Davidson:
The only answer I come up with is that you can have it sequentially. At one stage you may emphasize career, and at another, marriage and nurturing young children, and at any point you will be aware of what is missing. If you are lucky, you will be able to fit everything in. ["Having It All," p. 60]
Sequentially is a big word meaning to do things one at a time at different times. In the Book of Ecclesiastes, it says: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). It seems that the new roles of women have not decreased their responsibility because, while the new roles are challenging, the old roles of wife and mother are in the soul and cry out to be satisfied. It is in the soul to want to love and be loved by a good man and to be able to respond to the God-given, deepest feelings of womanhood—those of being a mother and nurturer...A woman may fit more than one career into the various seasons of life. She cannot sing all of the verses of her song at the same time.
[D]o not be deceived in your quest to find happiness and an identity of your own. Entreating voices may tell you that what you have experienced in your own homes—that which you have seen your mothers and grandmothers do—is old-fashioned, unchallenging, boring, and drudgery. It may have been old-fashioned and perhaps routine; at times it was drudgery. But your mothers and grandmothers have sung a song that expressed the highest love and the noblest of womanly feelings. They have been nurturers and teachers.
The last thing I want to say is that in all of these decisions we have to make as women, let's always, always, always think about our children and try be the best mom's for them when we are with them. Let's not be so focused on ourselves, that we let the world tell us what women's roles are. Let us unselfishly turn our gaze away from the world and turn to our children who are so important to us that we will do all in our power to love, nurture, and try to help them become true disciples of Christ and devoted members of societies everywhere. I think we will be able to find the balance the prophets teach about if we focus on our beautiful children.
I really hope we can love and support each other in our efforts as mothers.
Jess
P.S. Here's a link the the Family Proclamation that I am so grateful to have
